Evaluate me!

Like Lisa Simpson, I feel like its been a liitle too long since I received an honest Grade. As a lifelong teacher's pet who has become a teacher, I'm starting to jones for the heady thrills of being so very, very right and so very very smart and having this fact recorded for all to see.
Well, thank Jeebus for the Inntertubes! Behold:

You paid attention during 100% of high school!

85-100% You must be an autodidact, because American high schools don't get scores that high! Good show, old chap!

Do you deserve your high school diploma?
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Phew!

Welcome Back Cotter!

Welcome back to teaching Lo! I hope all went well!

While we're on the subject:

I am no longer anything close to an Oregonian:

You are 64% Oregonian.

You're not quite an Oregonian yet. Go stand in the rain some more. Better yet, sit in a rose garden, sip some Pinot Noir, and read something by Raymond Carver.

Are you from Oregon
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And I'm not yet an assimilated Coloradoan:

You are 46% of a Coloradan!

You probably have no idea why you took this quiz...but, you took it and you now know you are not at all from Colorado

How Colorado are you?

I think that what this really proves is that New Mexcianness is so ineffable, no one quiz could truly capture it. It can only be approximated by what I am not.

Oh, God Help Me

I stole this from Olga.

You are 89% REAL Texan!!

High five, you're a complete Texan. People from other states should tremble in your presence because they're simply not worthy. Let them bow before you and convey their undying adoration to you while they announce their true desire to be Texan.

How Texan Are You?

Oh, my, sweet, Jeebus, no! I'm a colonized manita!

(I wonder how Carlena would do on this one.)

A meme. for Ms. Jennifer

Because Jennifer sent this to me, and because we have to generate content until we get another call from Arnold Schwarzenegger:

48 Things You Could Care Less About


+++

1. FIRST NAME? Laura

2. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? Lara from "Dr. Zhivago."
3. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY? Um, who's keeping track?

4. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? yes.

5. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCHMEAT? salami.

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? No, cause I'm pretty stuck up.

7. DO YOU HAVE A JOURNAL? No

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Yes, but I am missing other significant lymph nodes.

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? Not if the lowest point in the jump was my only chance to grab for fabulous riches and true love.

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? Shredded Wheat and Bran.
11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? I just bought pretty new winter boots!

12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? As the trainer at the YMCA said, "There's a difference between muscle and strength." So yes.

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR? I really love frozen custard with chocolate and vanilla twisted together.

14. SHOE SIZE? six and a half

5. RED OR PINK? Both?

16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? I am envious.

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? If I don't say, "My Mom," I'm going to get a phone call.

18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU? Sure.

19. WHAT COLOR PANTS, SHIRT AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? Brown pants, red sweater, and grey socks with turtles on them. I am a walking fashion crime.

20. LAST THING YOU ATE? Fideos.

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? The tv is on.

22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? I like the pea-soupy greens. And teal.

23. FAVORITE SMELL? Cedar lotion.

24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? My mom.

25. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE YOU ARE ATTRACTED TO? How they react to the people around them.

26. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON you stole THIS from? Jennifer is okay. She'll talk to anyone, she's not snobby or stuck up or anything, for a popular girl.

27. FAVORITE DRINK? Caucasian.

28. FAVORITE SPORT? Watching the cats chase squirrels.

29. EYE COLOR? very dark brown.

30. HAT SIZE? I like droopy hoods.

31. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? Contacts wear me.

32. FAVORITE FOOD? Christmas feasty stuff.

33. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? I hate em both.

35. SUMMER OR WINTER? Autumn!

36. HUGS OR KISSES? or?

37. FAVORITE DESSERT? natillas

38. WHO IS MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? I'd be surprised if anyone did, since we are bums about posting.

39. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? ???

40. WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING? I finally found "The Master and Margarita"!

41. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE Pad? Souls in the torment of Purgatory. Thanks, Virginia!



42. WHAT DID YOU WATCH LAST NIGHT ON TV? Oh Brother, Where art thou?

43. FAVORITE SOUNDS? The cats chittering, laughter, springs, The Soft Boys' "Have a Heart, Betty."

44. ROLLING STONE OR BEATLES? Stevie Wonder

45. THE FURTHEST YOU'VE BEEN FROM HOME? The Black Sea.

46. WHAT'S YOUR SPECIAL TALENT? I make awesome fideos.

47. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? East L.A.!

48. WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? Ms Jennifer

My Folks Speak Truth to Power

Our dwindling readership knows, of course, that I hail from what is now a more or less safely "red" state. Recently, our Dear Leader visited Kansas to stump for Republican candidates who seemed to have a chance. Guess who was there to welcome him? The Lawrence Urinal-World has it all.

Topeka — As hundreds of cars filed by, Carlena Haney held a hot pink sign bearing the message “Bush = War Criminal. God Forgive America.”

“The administration is the worst I can remember,” said Haney, office manager at Kansas University’s journalism school.

Haney joined about 30 other demonstrators, including several from Lawrence, who stood late Sunday afternoon across the street from the Kansas Expocentre, where President Bush spoke later.

Cars filed past them slowly, trying to get in to see Bush speak at the Republican campaign rally for U.S. Rep. Jim Ryun, Kansas’ 2nd District congressman. Several cars and trucks passing by honked in support.

“I’m tired of having our role in Kansas just be a rubber stamp for the administration and not represent the people of Kansas,” said Barney Haney, Lawrence, a retired teacher who held up a sign saying “Impeach Bush.”

Protesters were not allowed on the Expocentre grounds with anti-Bush or anti-Ryun signs.

Yay Mom and Dad!! Sounds like almost everybody there was from Lawrence, actually, which is not surprising. My Mom is a KU employee, and let me make it clear that no state resources were used in this particular exercise of what is left of her rights as a citizen.

Cheney came to Colorado Springs on Friday but I did not pay my respects, believe it or not, even though I had heard there was a group of folks coming out in hunting garb. Be vewy vewy quiet. I am hunting tewwowists.