Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Wisdom from the Man of Love

Alexander Padilla Eaton, Laura's nephew and my nephew-to-be, has sent us a marrying card (his term). Alex has been a ring "burier" in his share of weddings during his six years of life, so he has a good idea of what Laura and I will look like as we tie the knot. Here it is, along with the widsom of the Man of Love, who reminds us that diamonds are special but love is more precious.

The Man of Love has sharp fangs that affect his victims the way Cupid's arrows are supposed to. The Man of Love has bitten several people around Alex's house recently. Rumors of an enthusiastic Alex animating the construction paper canines have not been substantiated, so it appears the Man is acting alone. Watch out!! The Man has sharp vision in spite of those specs.

Thanks for the card, Alex!!

Friday, March 24, 2006

In which I reveal the true venality and depthlessness of my soul

Alternative title: Don't judge me.
I know that the bride isn't supposed to even breathe the word "gifts." Don't worry, you're probably never going to purchase this:

the object of my desire
Originally uploaded by the anti-binky.

*Sigh*. I'm in love.
I mean, this pattern is superlative. I first spotted it at Breed & Co. here in Austin, and I have not been able to get it out of my mind. It is such a wondrous combination of 1) wildlife accuracy 2) decorativeness 3) true, devil-may-care ugly. The ladies' hanky floral border, the pictures of animals someone totally shot, the truly dreary color scheme. Wow. Then consider this: it's Spode, so the price of this dish could probably cover some small appliance. Which is to say, it is a piece with absolutely no redeeming value. I want it desperately. I mean, when am I ever going to find an uglier dish? And, to extrapolate, isn't marriage an opportunity to get the whole set?

My sister tells me that if I actually register for this stuff, I will instantly regret it. The Maid of Honor thinks that if I do get I will never eat anything but cold Spaghetti-o's again (she, too, is caught in this pattern's spell).

So, I guess that I'm asking you for favor: could you break the spell? Steer me towards even uglier dishes, so I won't yearn for these?

Sunday, March 12, 2006

Possibly the best idea I've ever had....

Two words. Wedding pi~nata

Dear bridesmaids

1) I love you all very much. Thank you all for argreeing to put on ridiculous dresses and prance around in my own very special pageant of gender. I'm so grateful to have you all in my life.

2) If you don't agree on dress this week, I'm going to have to do something and I don't know what that something is because you're going to do what I say. Dig? Dug.

Jennifer's sister had her hand-label all of the table tags:

Aren't they cute? And you who know what I am capable of, do you know what fresh hell I can invent that goes o so beyond writer's cramp? Do you remember my "absolutely everyone dresses up as a bride" idea?

Please, all I have to think about now is my dissertation and unsettled wedding ideas. Appease the beast, take the dresses off the table, and I will go back to trying to figure out how to do the entire ceremony in heroic couplets.

Love, yr. bridezilla

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Believe it or not...

In my mother's family, this is the traditional bridal look: late Elvis. TCB in a flash!

Monday, March 06, 2006

Stop the clocks

People have reassured me that no matter what day one chooses for a wedding, the date is bound to conflict with the remembrance of a tragedy which makes celebrating on that day seem tacky, so one should just go ahead and be happy and try to refocus that date towards a happier memory.
You see, our wedding will be on August 6, the infamous day that the Enola Gay dropped Little Boy on Hiroshima. Now, I'm not superstitious, so I'm not afraid that it's somehow a day of bad omen. After all, this is also a day that brought us the Voting Rights Act of 1965, the launch of Prince's Purple Rain, Jamaican Independence, and the Cuban Revolution; it also brought the Oklahoma land rush, Suvla Bay, and the birth of Ginger Spice. So, all things considered, even with Little Boy figured in, August 6 is a pretty mixed bag.
It's just that our wedding site is across the street from here.
Now, part of me hopes that there is a big protest at the atomic museum, but some small, previously unaknowledged bridezilla within wants the protest to be more quiet than not, and is ticked that they moved the museum from Kirtland AFB to this former REI so as to interfere with my day. Selfish, selfish, selfish pro-fission memorializers!
Also, to those interested in protesting, wouldn't Trinity Site be a much more appropriate place?
Oof, I'm a horrible person with no sense of taste or propriety, and I'm totally going to hell just for thinking about this. Sorry!

Saturday, March 04, 2006

Our save the date card

Wedding stuff can be so saccharine! Eh-he! O-ho! Ha!
Pete's lucky that he met a clever gal like me...

Hi-- this is the first post!